With the overwhelming access to one another, Twitter, Facebook, WhatsApp, email, text etc. There is the tendency and belief that in order for one to preserve his or her sanity, the best way might be to just switch off and back on whenever we feel like. At the very least, we ignore calls and texts. Or put on the do not disturb feature.
Recent events have however caused me to take a second look at the switch off approach. The shooting of the young man in Minnesota comes to mind. Even though it is tragedy, the last phone call he made was picked up by his mom. It would have been disastrous and will forever have been unimaginable the what ifs that would have been had she missed that call.
Most of us have also been in situations where we switched on our phones after a long switch off only to get the news that we missed out on an important event or where we could have been the change maker or would have made a difference in whatever the outcome is. We go through the emotions of either loss or wish would could have been part of the fun ealier.
My suggestion will be for us to consider the option of informing our friends and families that when it is really important, they can call us anytime. They should also be reminded to leave a message just in case we missed the call. The option of text messages should also remain open to families and friends with the caveat that you will respond but might not be in real time.
In conclusion, we never know when there will be an emergency. Let us make ourselves available for the people or events that matters most to us when it matters the most. Remember, your phone is the only contact point families and friends have to reach you. Be safe and stay connected.
The recent viral video about the young boy telling his mom to “calm down” appears to be the craze of the town with numerous organizations and governments. Some are even adopting it as a tag line for social awareness.
What is so special about this kid’s calm down is his boldness to even say it. Every other thing appears to be normal. It appeals to common sense to calm down. What we should be asking ourselves is what led to this calm down and many other calm downs we have heard in the past.
Remember how many times you have heard calm down? Remember that illegal police check point where you and other passengers were begging the oga officer to calm down? Remember the landlord and tenant discussion when all you could utter was calm down to the aggressive party? Remember the husband and wife or coworkers argument that the best you could offer was calm down? Remember your encounter with the immigration and customs officer and all that your relative could offer was calm down either to you or the oga at the top?
In all above instances and many more, we failed to ask the appropriate questions about what led to the calm down. We were using our common sense to calm everyone and everything down. We were encouraging many more situations of calm downs and not getting to the root of the problem.
In the instance of the young boy, we have not asked what was the offense of the young boy. The video stopped where the smart boy was going to ask the question. We have not asked ourselves what the motivation was for the person recording the calm down and eventually sharing it.
This incident should be treated as it is. A young boy pleading for help in a situation where he has no say or control. This is a plea for adequate care. A plea for someone or government to help provide adequate welfare. A plea for love and a plea for holding someone responsible for total disregard for adequate child care.
A few days ago, I was watching YouTube, one of my routine activities during this lock down, and I was fortunate to catch an interview with Sidney Poitier.
I immediately became engrossed with the interview, but one section stood out the most. Poitier delved into his story of his birth, and I found it particularly moving. Now, let me remind you, this was just two days before my birthday. I was suddenly inspired to find out about the story of my own birth. It had never crossed my mind to know more about that day. However, I was suddenly swarming with questions:
What happened on that day?
What were my parents doing?
How did they get to the hospital?
These questions didn’t matter until I saw this interview, and now I felt the need to know more as soon as possible. And I did.
On my birthday, I was joyously overwhelmed with calls, texts and messages, from friends Around noon, my dad called to congratulate and pray for my well being. As soon as I hung up, the very next call was from my mom.
She jokingly said, “Iwo lo ye ko pe mi l’aaro yi.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at that comment. What did she mean I should have called her first thing this morning? After learning, more about the day of my birth, I could understand exactly what she meant.
My mom was not expecting the arrival of her first child the night I was born. What she felt was indigestion, was actually contractions. With the help of the experienced women by her side, it was determined that my birth day, had in fact, arrived!
I asked my mom, “how did you make it to the hospital in time?”
She said that my dad’s Volkswagen van was the mode of transportation. Except, there were no seats in it, which meant she had to sit on the floor of the cargo van for eight miles.
From Ikeja to Mushin, my mother was riding in her very own makeshift ambulance. Once at the hospital, she climbed up three flights of stairs to give birth to me in the early morning of June 17, 1967.
A view of the stars and moon, the day I was born
Birthdays can give us the opportunity to reflect and be grateful for life. Learning more about my entry into this world has further inspired me to learn more about who I am, and those responsible for bringing me into this world. Birthdays aren’t simply a celebration of the individual but in most cases a celebration for the parents as well.
So, I guess mom was right, I should be calling her first thing to wish her a happy “birth” day as well!
I’m thankful to my parents for their influence on my life since the day I was born. With love and care, I pray to give back to them to the best of my ability.
At first, I didn’t know what to do and was at a loss about the usefulness of my new found app. Gradually, I got into the groove of catching up with friends that I would hitherto had to call over the regular lines or have to send an email to. It was becoming very interesting. The excitement led me to catching up with my high school class mates. The frequency of my chats with the old boys became very high. At some point, we all agreed to form a forum where everyone can be part of the group.
The formation of the WhatsApp group led to a lot of catching up and sharing of memories. Gradually, the group brought us all together and we became more involved with each other. We had Reunion events, birthday parties, visited each other all over the globe, attended our children’s graduations, celebrate our spouses, anniversaries supported each other at times of needs and remain committed to each other’s welfare. The group led us to higher frequency of involvement in each other’s well being, socialization and economic collaborations. Since then, my groups have grown from just the high school to my University alumni, family and groups within a group.
My perspective today is based on the trends that I have noticed amongst some of these WhatsApp groups that are being formed for every reason other than for themselves.
What I see is the excitement of forming a group permeates all of them at the inception. Everyone is excited that so and so is part of the group or has just being “discovered” and will be added to the WhatsApp group soon. The building or set up of the group continues for about three days to a week.
Now the group is formed. What do we do with it other than the initial “rush” of discovering each other? Gradually, there appears to be some kind of silence or inactivity. Then, someone shares an issue that might be from the past of everyone. A photo, video or just mentions an incident. Some members of the group remember the incident and responds appropriately while others definitely has no knowledge of the incident and can not relate.
Then comes the issue of remembering who everyone is. Since most of these groups are filled with friends from the past, most members have in their perception the young friend of twenty to thirty years ago or simply can not remember the face or link the name to the face. What everyone looks like and their perspectives about life definitely has not been stagnant. Gradually, some group try to navigate this through self introductions. Picture sharing, where you are located, family status and mention of what everyone does for a living. Sometimes, you get full compliance. Some shy away from revealing themselves fully for reasons best known to them. Most common reasons might be safety and security, ego or low self esteem.
Now that the group has gone past the introductory stage, what do we do with it? Since the group was set up by an “administrator” the perception most of the time is that the administrator will lead the way about the purpose of the group. This doesn’t however happen all the time. Sometimes, there is a lull in activities. This is when the sharing of images, funny videos, religious, political and marriage counseling sets in on the forum. Some members respond, some ignore and some becomes the person who knows it all about every issue. Then, there are the silent majority who do not comment and are not in support of what is going on in the group. Out of nowhere comes a member who asks the question about the purpose of the group. Some will respond to the question and the administrator might actually be nowhere to be found. Some reach out privately to one another to steer the group in a direction that they might think will be beneficial to everyone. This goes on and on. All of a sudden “…left” appears on the chat line. Then recovery mode sets in.
Now it has been two months and all that some of these groups have is just sharing and contious sharing of items that no one knows the relevance. Nothing is defined. There is no way of harnessing the human resources available within the forum.
Harnessing the human resources on WhatsApp groups appears to be the main challenge here. If we can not do this, then, what’s up with WhatsApp?
Groups should define their purpose (mission statement) from the get go. This will surely help to inform all members about what they are getting into. If an individual has anything to offer with regards to the mission, it will be easier to make that contribution. Group management is also easier.
Missions can be in forms of more socialization and welfare, business and support for one another or a cause that members believe in.
Socialization and welfare: This might take the form caring for each other’s welfare and trying to be there for each other as much as possible. Having a shoulder to lean on. This type of group might benefit from occasional funny videos and images and other social events in the news. Life shouldn’t be that hard.
Business: This group might be formed out of the initial all friends group or old students group. The idea can be shared that members can set up a business group amongst the same alumni or high school group to form a WhatsApp business group. This will mean that they are taking a social group to the next level. This is strictly business with the advantage of having fore knowledge of your business partners. It is a win win group when adhered to with respect and transparency.
A third and nostalgicgroup is the one that is formed for nostalgic purposes and will from time to time have a need to respond to a cause that will help define the group. A nostalgic group where everything goes then the need arises to support your Alma Mata, a sick friend, plan a funeral for a member, help someone in a financial difficulty. This appears to be the most common yet with least commitment from members. This is also the group where expectations appears to be highest. The perception is that “we all chat, share jokes, videos, discuss politics, celebrate birthdays, anniversaries and parties now that someone needs help, we are not showing up”. What is however missing from this nostalgic group is lack of a mission statement and how to get things accomplished. Members need to look at what are the likely issues that may arise from our group. How do we address those issues whenever they occur? These will help the smooth running of your group.
In conclusion, a well defined, mission oriented WhatsApp group runs smoother and better for the benefit of members. Keep up the chat for the benefit of mankind.
The disturbing news of a university professor allegedly involved in “sex for marks/grades” scandal has been a source of concern for me.
Personally, my thoughts eventually went on to what good might come out of this for humanity and for Nigeria in particular.
From experience, I believe most college undergraduates know and believe this has been going on forever.
What however made this one different might be the involvement of social media in its dissemination. It went around like wild fire and was very easy for most people to comprehend and picture the scenario.
What also amazed me and is also encouraging is the interest the populace has shown in this alleged scandal and the determination to get to the root of the matter.
What is the take away from this enthusiasm of the populace to address this and other issues that continues to plague the nation?
It is all over the place that religious house of worships are all over the place in Nigeria. It is no news that there are also record number attendance during the worship sessions.
Now is the time for the religious leaders to harp on the message of not just sugar coating but preaching about the negatives of such alleged behavior as exhibited by the professor.
The congregation should be reminded of the damage(s) that can occur from such acts.
The religious leaders should also make it a point of duty to preach the need for any parent of guardian to minimize unnecessary pressures on their wards. It is enough for the young adults to deal with societal and peer pressure. Home should be the place for some respite and loving environment.
I believe this will help mitigate such need to even be a victim of such an assault as shared on the social media.
Nigeria can also benefit from continious preaching and emphasis on the evils of corruption in the society.
Can you imagine a religious leader preaching anti- corruption message rather than the most common message of always “bring, bring and bring” to the house of worship.
Pesonally, I believe the lack of above messages in preachings have led to the level or moral decadence that prevails in the country.
My choice of the religious approach was informed by the record number of devotees that the religious houses have as members. And the high chance of the message hitting home a little better.
It is a fact that the government and other social institutions set up to attend to such issues have fallen short of expectations.
This is my humble call to action by the keepers of our religious sanctity.
Your opinion on the above issues will be appreciated.
I struggled within me to either use the word conformity or bullied as the title of this blog.
To however not sound too knowledgeable or open myself for serious questioning, I chose both words. Let the reader make up their minds. Not here to pressure anyone.
Have you ever questioned yourself about decisions, choices or steps you take or had taken in the past and even presently? Why are you reading this blog? Have you ever questioned or reasoned through how you came about making that decision?
The decision you made, was it done out by your well thought out reasoning or was influenced by peers, culture, profession, media, neighborhood, country, age, school, skin color, ethnicity, economic status, religion etc? You get my drift here.
When was the last time you can really trust yourself that you took a decision or made a move without above influences coming into play in the process?
Are we all victims of above influences? Have we all been “bullied” or hoodwinked by our minds to believe that conformity will justify our decision.
Why and how did you decide to marry? What influenced you to marry your wife/ husband? Could it be her/his religion, pressure from parents and society? What she/he looks like, what is the yard stick for a handsome/beautiful partner?
What does he/she do? He/She is a professional? He/she is the son/ daughter of who?
To marry or not marry is one of the numerous decisions we have to make in our lifetime. Imagine above questions going into just one aspect of life.
Other choices you have had to make.
Neighborhood to live?
Car to drive?
Clothes to buy?
Invitations to attend or not to attend.
I go back to my original observation. Are we continually “bullied” or we are “conforming” willingly?
Is it actually possible to take any decision (s) without being a “victim” of conformity or being bullied?
It will be nice to hear from you as a reader if you have an example of how you arrived at a decision without the need to conform or was “bullied” into making that choice.
Personally, I am not sure if I was bullied or just saw the need to conform to writing a blog because it is the main thing.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Have a great day.
Over the years, and I mean ever since I have been able to know the difference between my left hand and my right hand, my attitude towards anything Nigeria has been in the form of an “outsider”. Mostly, in the company of fellow outsiders like me.
The discussion usually commences as an icebreaker or starts with a recent experience that we all had recently gone through. For example, a recent experience in traffic, perennial power outage, long lines at filling stations or most importantly the economic situation in the country.
Usually, the comment starts with ” I don’t know what this government is doing” they can’t fix the road from the airport and you have to stay in traffic for ever. Another outsider chips in with ” the governor embezzled all the money” hence the road will remain in disrepair for a while or until the next budget. then the discussion spirals into ” they all go abroad and sees what obtains. why can’t they do the same here”.
In all our discussions, the government or those in positions of authority are always seen as “they” and different from us the outsiders.
This same narrative applies to everything that remains out of place within the country called Nigeria.
In recent times, I have started questioning my attitude to the political, economic and social situations in Nigeria. Could it be that I have not looked at ways to help “they” and find someways of suggesting a line of thought or sets of ideas that can help “they” with the proper administration of the country?
If I can’t fully participate in the political process, can I contribute my quota economically or socially?
I have also come to realize that the “they” are also Nigerians they surely need the support of all Nigerians to make it a success.
Rome was not built in a day surely applies here. Appreciation of the polity and belief that the country can surely be better should be on every Nigerian’s mind.
There must be the feel that “I am a Nigerian” and not that ” I want to be a citizen of another country where all the opportunities are waiting for me” Yes the grass might be greener in those other climes, the people through their commitments and sacrifice made it into what it is.
My experience seeing other countries has shown me that the people are the ones that make a difference in the development of a country. When the people are proud of their heritage and society, it goes a long way to show the world the greatness of that country. No one will speak well of Nigerians if Nigerians don’t speak well of themselves.
At this point in time, my attitude has to be one of a participant in the process of growth and development of Nigeria.
My discussion with friends and fellow “outsiders” has to be one of suggesting the way forward and working towards doing something positive for the country.
We should look at our immediate community and make the difference. Little drops of water surely makes the ocean.
Within a short time, the “they” will be sure to make the necessary change of attitude and be ready to serve the people.
My first act of change in attitude will be to applaud the great job done by our soccer team. The Super Eagles of Nigeria.
Have you ever given it a thought that there are two hundred and eleven (211) associations represented in FIFA? And Nigeria has made it to the world cup competition in Russia. Nigeria qualified first in the African Confederation and eleventh (11th) overall. Nigeria is one of the thirty two (32) countries participating in the most prestigious event in the world. That is a great achievement and something to be proud of. Nigeria leaves behind One hundred and seventy nine(179) other countries out of this event. This is by no means an ordinary feat when you remember that countries like Italy and The United States could not make it to this great event.
Here is a link from FIFA about Nigeria’s greatness and how far we have come in soccer. https://youtu.be/YYJkKN3pi6E Please enjoy.
With all hands on deck, the difference will surely contribute to our greatness.
God bless the Nigeria and all Nigerians.
The recent killings in Paris has brought the terror group ISIS to the forefront of international discuss and human race is once again confronted by man’s evil thoughts and actions towards one another.
There are however unanswered questions about the operations of this terror group. The ease with which they carry out their dastardly acts is beyond imagination. It appears like they are on a different planet.
These questions bothers on supplies, communications and transportation.
Like every other human being, we from time time need supplies to meet our daily needs. These will come in form of food, water, housing, clothes, transportation and health care.
How does ISIS gets its supplies of these essentials? I understand they have a territory that they presently control. Most parts of the organized world now have these essentials shipped to them from some other country either as a finished product or as raw materials. How has ISIS managed to Plant its food? Harvested the planted crops? Processed the food for consumption?
Medical:
How does ISIS gets its medical care? Are there doctors and other medical professionals providing this essential for survival to the terror group? Where did these professional get there training? Were they part of the territory before ISIS came on the scene or they joined after the land was occupied by ISIS? Where do the medications come from for this terrorist organization?
Transportation:
It still baffles me that each time you see an image or video clip of the terror group, they are moving around in latest models of Toyota trucks. How do you explain that? Could it be that they have an automobile plant in the occupied territories or someone or some organization is reaping profit from the terror organization’s evil acts upon humanity?  Toyota should explain to humanity how their trucks get into that territory. Who is supplying these vehicles to the terror organizations. It appears that there is some complicity here while serious money is being made while innocent lives are being lost. How will ISIS move without these vehicles?
Telecommunication:
In a normal world where we are, the telephone company can and will turn off your phone  if you owe any money on your plan. The same telephone company can trace your call to a tower in case there is a dispute about calls made. Yet ISIS has been able to operate without any hindrance. Some telephone company is getting paid for all the calls made by the organizations, The calls have brought death to innocent citizens of the world.  What is the name of the telephone company that this organization uses?
Energy:
Where do they get the supplies for these vehicles? Parts, Gas and proprietary tools to maintain the automobiles. Electricity is essential to man’s existence . How do they get supplies to meet their power needs? On what grid do they get their supplies? Have they been using solar energy?
Arms and Ammunition:
Who is the supplier of arms and ammunition for this terror group? The international super powers can not claim to be ignorant of who the suppliers are. How many weapons manufacturers exist in the world? The weapons gets shipped to ISIS. Which port do they load from? Where do they off load? Do these arms have bills of laden like any other shipment? Who are the brokers for these shipments?
In conclusion, the super powers of the world should help us find answers to the above questions and just maybe the world might be able to bring this terror group to its knees. For us as citizens of the world, vigilance is our only weapon. When we see anything or anyone out of the ordinary, we should bring the information to our local authorities. We surely will have nothing to lose other than to preserve our lives and the lives of our loved ones. I pray that the almighty have his mercy on us all. .
The rift between Nigeria’s soccer manager Sunday Oliseh and one of his players Vincent Onyeamah as taken team operations to the next level.
As we all know, both the manager and the player have both taken to social media to make their case. They are both in the court of public arena and the people are presently hitting the “like” and “dislike” buttons to show who’s side they are on.
At this point, I will suggest we get the side of the Nigerian Football Federation.
The following questions will also help clarify issues a little better.
These questions are also based on statements made by the team manager and the player.
Who invites the player to camp?
What does the player have to do if for some reason he can not get to camp on time?
Is there a procedure for appointing a Captain for the Eagles?
What is the grievance procedure set up by the Football Federation?
What is the procedure to speak to the media? For the manager and the players
Response to above questions might help us arrive at how best to choose our “like” or “dislike” buttons.
This is something that also needs to be taken into consideration before making our decision about who is right or wrong. The environment where this incident took place.
Both the manager and player know that the environment they are permits for individuals to express their opinions.
The environment also does not permit for any unruly behavior. If any did occur as alleged. (Hence the issue of security getting the player out).
Imagine if this had happened in Lagos. It would have been a different story on the social media.
In conclusion, this does not look very promising for the team. And it can be turned around if and when everyone involved understands and plays by the rule of the game.
Just think back to your class mates in high school. What comes to your mind? Images, memories, experience, good times and otherwise. You remember names, faces, the uniqueness of each and everyone of them. You remember  pranks that were played on fellow students and teachers. Then the rush comes to your mind. What would it be like if I see any of those guys now? How will the relationship be? Will it still be the same? Calling each other by our nicknames or  will it be possible what the real name of this guy that I can only describe by the shape of his ears. All these comes to mind in one fell swoop. and then you also wonder, is it possible that any of us would have passed on?  You shake it off and pray that God preserves all of them as he has preserved you until today that the thought of these guys crossed your mind.
Jide’s Birthday Lagos 2015
With Bosun Jagunna in Calgary 2015.
Some people have definitely changed. Albert
Golden Boy Opeolu Faleye and Dotun Osiyemi @Mende Maryland 2015
Like a dream come true and lucky me, and thanks for internet and Whatsapp. In the last eight months I have been privileged to re-connect with my high school mates
Luton UK with Kunrunmi, Sonubi and Osiyemi.
of over Thirty-Five (35) years. It all started with a call to a friend, and then it caught on like wild fire. Whatsapp.com was mentioned by this one classmate. He said, he had been discussing with another classmate of ours who had suggested that we can make use of this application to link each other up. Lo and behold, the group was formed and within two days we had grown to about ten (10). On another occasion, I received a call from another set mate from Calgary, he mentioned that there is a Whatsapp forum for our year set. My name and number were added and before you know it, on both forums, we are over seventy (70) Old boys.
Amazing thing is that it we all have the opportunity to communicate with one another from wherever we are.
With Dosunmu In NY. He was ” harassed” for putting on a Boston Red Sox T shirt in NY. He got the hat I have on for me during his shopping.
Udoh, Dosunmu and I at Times Square. Nice to be around each other.
And this was just the beginning. As soon as someone comes on to the forum, you see the excitement in the comments, “welcome”, “it has been over thirty one years”, ” do you still have your bow legs”, ” where are you based?”, ” how many children do you have?”, “what do you do?”, questions that would help bring everyone up to date about each other. School song was brought up from time to time to add spice to the forum.
Comments by these guys still represented who they were thirty-one years ago. There was no decorum we have all have remained the same. It appears nothing has changed. Opportunities have come to see images of ourselves. Some remained almost the same except for the age. Most with greying hair, some with baldness covered in clean shave, some with pot bellies and most with their very good sense of humor.
The humor appears to be the solid bond for most of us. Our experience plays a big role here. Everyone can relate to whatever was mentioned or at least have an understanding of the context.
Udoh and I @ Niagara Falls Ontario Canada 2015.
Philip Imoh and Opeyemi Ifafore. NY 2015
With Dapo Ojo. Victoria Station London 2015.
With Kunle Osiyemi NY 2015.
Dosunmu and Gboyega Bello. Mende Maryland . 2015
Relationships have blossomed since the formation of the forum.
There is a general consensus that this should be
With Kayode Shope Cranbrook British Columbia. 2015
Oye-Igbemo @ Jide’s Birthday. 2015
taken beyond us as individuals and extended to our
families. Wives and children are getting to meet each other and putting faces to the names. Most spouses have given feedbacks suggesting that their partners appears to be happier since the commencement of the forum. None as seen it as an intrusion. Also spurring them to suggest the same to their classmates.
Beyond the excitement of seeing and hearing of each other, there is also the determination to give back to out alma mata. Within a short time, committee has been set up to make a visit to the school to find out how we can be of assistance to the school. This is what brought us all together and we are determined to do so.
Amazing Dotun and Kunle Osiyemi’s Family in London. Where are the Papas?
Udoh’s Family and the Ifafores in Westchester NY. 2015
Kunle, Kunrunmi and “David” Moses. Hempstead Uk. 2015
We have indeed come a long way in the last eight months. We have faced challenges that have tested our resolve to relive the good times we had Thirty-Five years ago. Getting to know each other again is a great challenge, life goals are as diverse as the number of years we graduated. There is also the painful but acceptance of reality that some of us have indeed transitioned to the life beyond. We pray for their souls and the families they left behind.
For those of us here, we have more to do. Love one another and support each other to the best of our abilities. We have been given a gift that rarely comes by.
Mr and Mrs Edwards . 2015
Mr and Mrs Osiyemi on the Red Carpet.2015
Mr Okuboyejo.
You might be wondering, what is the name of this school that I have been writing about. The school is Baptist Academy Lagos Nigeria. Proud to have attended the school with this set of students. Will not change it for anything.
In conclusion, the most fulfilling thing to me with this forum is that it continues to validate my youthfulness. Each time I interact with the forum, I am reminded that I am a young boy amongst his friends and nothing more. I am just myself and happy. I Have not had these much interaction with them in the last 30 years. These guys know me and I know them.
As we always say, Up School.
Perspective. 